Creative Production

September 17, 2024

Creative Production

I will be honest: My writing productivity hasn’t been the best this year. At times, I stressed over my mute muse and felt like I was not creating anything, but then I realized I had, just not for the public eye.

This summer, my focus was on building a new backyard deck and creating an area for wildlife. It was a welcome distraction after losing my brother. We removed trees, built a privacy fence, tore down the old deck, and purchased a new pergola. I used the steel bars from the old pergola to hang the bird feeders, making Ts on the stumps we had the tree removal crew leave. I hung multiple feeders for seed, suet, and peanuts. We even added a feeder with a camera. The bird bath was moved, and I added a small tub for other critters to have an easy water source.

This project took months of work. I am proud to say I built the deck part completely by myself. Due to headaches, I couldn’t work every day, but it slowly came together, and I am delighted with the results.

I have gotten so much enjoyment out of watching all the birds and critters who come to visit now that I wish I had done something like this years ago. I sit outside every day and watch who comes and goes. A little jolt of happiness fills me when I see a bluebird fly past with a peanut in its beak, followed by tapping sounds as it lands in a tree and breaks into the peanut shell. Watching the black squirrels grab a peanut and run around the yard to find a place to bury it, only to search for it later when the “Nut Bar” has run out. The smile I can’t stop when the goldfinches and chickadees decide to grace me with their songs. The grunting of the grackles when they decide to come in droves. I think we have had a few dozen at times around the feeders.

Months ago, when we started this project, a lone female turkey would visit and peck around under the trees. Edna (I felt she needed a name, so I wasn’t just saying, “Hey Turkey, how’s it going?”) disappeared for a while, and I thought perhaps she found somewhere new to go and didn’t think much of it. When she reappeared with not only a friend (Agatha) but also with a slew of little ones between the two of them (Fourteen to be exact). The turkeys have been showing up daily for a drink of water and poke at the seed that has fallen from the feeders. Eventually, the gaggle moves into the trees and shade, some lowering to the ground for rest, others pecking for more food. Edna, Agatha, and their broods will hang out for a while, perusing the yard before venturing out. I know turkeys aren’t smart and are only here because of food and water. But I like to think that Edna remembered the comfort level and brought her little ones and a friend to enjoy it as well.

So you see, I have been creating. My husband and I created a new environment for not only us but also for the feathered and furry. My favorite spot is sitting on the new patio, watching the action, especially after filling the feeders. I still plan to paint murals on the fence, but that will wait until next spring. I recently purchased some native flora to plant, hoping to bring more bees and butterflies around next year.

Creativity is about doing something that makes you feel good, whether anyone else sees it or not. It is about doing something that makes you smile when no one else is around. Anything that you accomplish that brings that kind of smile is priceless. I often think if people had more time to do these little things for themselves instead of being consumed with work and making money, our world would be much more emotionally healthier.

Unfortunately, not everything ends well, even when life starts feeling substantially better. Penelope disappeared. We suspect coyotes. She has never wandered far from the backyard for the past seven years. Visiting the neighbors behind us was a regular occurrence, and they didn’t mind. We searched our property and surrounding area and found nothing, not even a body. Our hearts have been heavy without her sashaying around the house, announcing her presence in every room she entered with her tiny mewl. Even though Cooper seemed only to tolerate her presence, his behavior shows that he misses her too. She left a big hole inside the house and in our hearts.

Divided We Fall

June 4, 2024

Divided We Fall

Preface: I have not studied political science or know all the laws. This is only an opinion piece.

Our house sits off an easement. We were the first house here, followed in time by two more behind us. We own just short of 3 acres and have a decent backyard surrounded by trees. I like the quiet when sitting on the deck and listening to the chatter of birds and squirrels. This year, we have a lone female turkey visiting our bird feeder looking for a snack, along with a pair of bunnies and the occasional nocturnal deer. I welcome the critters, letting them do their thing without shooing them away. We are currently renovating some of the backyard, including an area for native plants and pollinators, more bird feeders and baths, and a squirrel feeding station. At this point in my life, I would rather hang out with the critters than deal with people lately.

The neighbor directly behind us finally put in a new mailbox post amongst our little row on the roadside after theirs was knocked over about two years ago. He had it balanced in a couple of cement blocks. With the new post came a flag holder with a giant Trump flag. My husband speaks with him more than I do and sent a friendly text saying we don’t like political signs in our yard, and even though it’s not considered our yard, we can see it through our front window where he can’t see it all. The neighbor seemed understanding and said he would remove it. The next afternoon, it disappeared but was replaced by an American flag with the Gadsden symbol (Snake with Don’t Tread on Me written). I don’t know how he thinks that is not political.

Two houses down, they are flying a flag that says Fuck Biden which I find completely classless, considering they have a child that lives there, and there are children across the road. They have only lived there a few years but made their thoughts known soon after moving in.

I don’t hide the fact I despise Trump. I didn’t like him before he became president, and I honestly think he’s a piece of shit human. I generally don’t care for many politicians as it’s hard to find one that isn’t in it for some personal gain. That goes for all parties. It doesn’t mean I don’t voice about issues I believe in because there are some that I can’t believe we are still fighting for, like women’s rights.

Back to the mailbox flag. I find it highly annoying for so many reasons, but I also believe in freedom of speech. They are using that right to express their opinion—and that is all it is—their opinion. They are so confident in it that they feel everyone should know. It makes me think of a quote by Charles Bukowski: “The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.”

The thing that worries me most about politics is that there is no middle ground anymore. Politicians want to divide us and encourage hate, so we fight each other instead of them. If you don’t like Trump, you must love Biden, or vice versa. It’s one or the other to them because they know that old saying is true: Together we stand; divided we fall. But I think we all know it’s a corrupt system that runs on money and favors. Politicians should have to wear patches of all their sponsors/donors for the public to see, as race car drivers do. The sad part is that the only way to make changes is to put it up for a vote, and the people we are sick of are the ones who do that, and they are not going to vote away their meal ticket.

I admit that when I saw the first flag on the mailbox, it negatively influenced my opinion of the neighbor, and I don’t think it will easily go away. But we live near them, not with them, and I’m good at ignoring things. We recently put up 32 feet of privacy fence facing the easement. I plan to paint fun murals on the side facing the yard. Perhaps I will also paint some fun things facing the easement. Our world could use a little more fun and creativity and fewer politics.

Lately, my understanding is that I have a life to live, regardless of who’s in charge. I have to make the best of my remaining years, and listening to some yutz’s false promises is not on my list of to-dos. Life is meant to be enjoyed amongst family and friends, exploring our world, and not worrying about who supports who, even though it’s hard sometimes. I will choose issues worth fighting for, not a persona or party. I’m not saying I won’t ever speak up, but I think it’s about choosing the right place and audience. If I tried to go against my neighbors it would only cause dissension among us, and they are not worth the trouble. I have better things to do, like enjoy my life.

I am going to end my rant on that note and a Mark Twain quote:

“Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.”

Nostalgia

May 31, 2024

Nostalgia

Nostalgia – a feeling of pleasure and also slight sadness when you think about things that happened in the past. (Cambridge Dictionary)

It’s hard not to feel nostalgic when cleaning out your childhood home. Everywhere I turn, there is a trigger for a forgotten event. Many make me smile as I recollect that period in time, and some make me sad as I’m surrounded by loss.

My parents built that house in the early ‘60s, and the land was from my Dad’s side of the family. Keeping it in the family has been discussed, but none of us want it. The brother who passed in February was the only one who had a strong familial feel for it. The house completed its use of housing our family for many years, and it shows. My first instinct when he passed was to donate it to the fire department for a practice burn, knowing what lay ahead of us.

My mother and brother were collectors, a nicer word than hoarders. My mother visited yard sales every summer, buying stuff she saw value in for a quarter here, a dollar there. I understood why she felt the need to have things as her father passed when she was seven, and her mother never worked due to a cleft palate, making her speech hard to understand. My mother had two older siblings and two younger siblings. They had little and pinched pennies almost into dust. Her collecting made sense as she was making up for not having much of anything growing up, and she couldn’t pass up a deal.

I can’t find an excuse for my brother other than he liked working on cars. We grew up pinching pennies, but we never went without. I believe he revered my mother and picked it up from her. He was born on her birthday, and they had a special connection. He got away with things we couldn’t. I’m not saying that in an angry way, although I broached the subject in my younger years. Unfortunately, that special treatment ended up hurting him more than helping him.

We are taught never to speak ill of the dead. I loved my mother so much and miss her; the same goes for my brother. But every time I’m at that house, sorting through the endless piles, I get angry at them for leaving us such a mess to deal with. Then guilt follows because I know they didn’t do it intentionally. But they proved that no amount of things makes any difference in the end. Someone will just throw it out when you are gone.

It’s frustrating to have those mixed emotions, seeing the amount of work ahead of us and finding so many memories that were lost amongst the piles. It made me vow never to leave that kind of mess when I pass.

That thought led me to finally set up an appointment to have a proper will completed for us. My cerebral angiogram a few weeks ago did not produce the greatest news. My mind has shifted to planning for what I’m going to leave behind, what my endgame is, and how I can make the most of my remaining years, however many they turn out to be.

I plan to keep writing and producing more books, do more art for enjoyment, travel, and live the life that makes me happy. Currently, I am making some upgrades around our house to create my own oasis.

I want to learn to have confidence and not worry about what others might think. I want to smile at the good memories and use the bad as learning experiences. And most of all, to not sweat the small stuff.

The following is the last paragraph of the first book I wrote, Alice’s Ashes. I keep the passage up so I can look at it daily to remind me of the message.

“Life isn’t perfect. Life isn’t easy. But once you figure that out and not attach yourself to specific outcomes, opening yourself up to dreams and surprises along the way, life becomes an adventure. Alice had the best advice: Be free. Be brave. Be bold. Be proud. Dream big and believe in yourself. Imperfections are the seasonings of life. And most of all, share your fabulous self with the world.”

Brother

March 20, 2024

Brother

The morning after I uploaded the last post Don’t Stop Playing, a police officer knocked on my door. He was there to inform me that my older brother had passed away in an accident at his house and they found my name and address listed for his emergency contact. I let him in and immediately texted my husband to come home for an emergency. To say it was a shock would be an understatement. I struggled for responses as my brain was rendered speechless. When it finally did kick in that he was gone, I sobbed for a good ten minutes on my husband’s shoulder.

It is less than two years since our mother passed and I still shed tears occasionally for that loss. I was there when she passed, holding her hand as she took her last breath. He was also there, and we said goodbye together. I have two other siblings, but he being the oldest and me being the youngest gave us a different dynamic. He drove me crazy sometimes, but he was a good person who was loyal to his family and friends.

His death put my writing life on hold as the shock and chasing paperwork to take care of what he left behind shook any creative thoughts from my head. There was no closure and he was too young. The day the police officer showed up was the day before his birthday, which he shared with our mother. As with my mother, I’m glad our last conversation had jokes and laughter, but I would have liked to have more.

It was hard to write his obituary, trying to find the right words to describe him. He never married or had kids, but he had a lot of friends, which was proved at his memorial luncheon. His place of employment shut down the shift he worked early so they could attend. He had been an employee for over thirty years. The hall was wall-to-wall people for a while, and although my anxiety went nuts with the crowd, my heart filled at knowing he was liked by so many. He would have loved knowing all those people showed up for him. He may have been an odd duck to some, but it didn’t deter anyone from being his friend.

We had grown closer in our adult years. I became the person he asked to be there when he had to have surgery or fell sick in the hospital, and he regularly checked in on me after my ruptured brain aneurysm. We worked together helping my mother in her last years, even if we didn’t always agree. It added to the youngest/oldest dynamic we shared.

I’m glad we had that relationship and looked out for each other. I also did not miss the irony of my last post being all about change this year and that happening immediately after. Losing him like this changed my life in multiple ways, including how I see the world and how I move forward in life. My message will remain though; don’t stop playing. His untimely death is proof that life can end in the blink of an eye. Get as much enjoyment out of it as you can, and don’t sweat the small stuff. I know I will be randomly shedding tears for years to come, and that is okay because he was my big brother and no one can replace the person he was.

Don’t stop playing

February 16, 2024

Don't Stop Playing

February is always the hardest month of the year for me. It is generally the coldest and grayest. Although, this winter has been very mild where I am. While some places are getting below normal temps, we have been getting above normal. Our snow levels are a fraction of what is normally piled up by now. I will not complain about that and hope the trend continues, it would be nice to see a warm spring above the 45th parallel.

With the above-normal temperatures, I haven’t suffered from debilitating headaches due to pressure changes and repaired aneurysm in my brain as much as in previous winters. Last winter I had one that lasted for ten days. This winter my longest stretch has been three days, not counting when I caught a nasty bug and was down for two weeks. It certainly slows productivity down.

2024 is a year of growth and change in our world. Pluto settled into Aquarius in January, and besides a brief retrograde near the end of the year, will remain until 2044. No one alive was around the last time it happened, almost 250 years ago. Pluto is the planet of regeneration and rebirth, and Aquarius is an air sign with an affinity for intellectual innovation. The Chinese New Year recently changed over to the Year of the Wood Dragon, a symbol of opportunities and change. Jupiter, beyond being known as the planet of luck, is also about expanding and exploring ideas. This intellectual planet will cross into curious Gemini in May for about twelve years.

It will be interesting to see what new ideas, inventions, and technology come out this year. I’m hoping my creativity and writing skills will continue to grow as I’m still considered a newbie in that area. I may be late to the game, but you are never too old to learn and have fun.

At the time of this post, I plan to put out two books this year. The fourth book of The Devil Series, and another one that is separate from the series. The fourth book is planned for the end of the year, not sure about the other yet. Everything is still in the beginning draft stages.

To the wonderful people out there who like my series, I say thank you for reading and helping spread the word. My advertising budget is pretty small so word of mouth is very helpful. Thank you for your patience as I know I am not the fastest writer. Three books last year was a big accomplishment, but it won’t be happening this year. I have other ideas to play with and I hope you will continue to follow me and watch me grow as a writer and as a person.

*The quote is one of my all-time favorites and should not be forgotten.

Book One is on sale!

February 10, 2024

Book one is on sale!

The Devil is in the Details, Kindle edition, is on sale February 10 & 11 on Amazon. Check it out!

Find it HERE.

The Devil You Know paperback now available

January 26, 2024

The Devil You Know is in Paperback

I am excited to announce that The Devil You Know, book three of The Devil Series in paperback is now available in my bookstore HERE.

I am planning on continuing the series after I spread my imagination out into other areas. Keep watching for what’s next in my writing adventure.

Thank you for supporting an indie author by purchasing the paperbacks from my website. I hope you enjoy the story, it’s been fun to write.

Book three

December 31, 2023

Book Three is here!

I am proud to announce that book three of The Devil Series is now available. The Devil You Know took longer than I anticipated and I had doubts about finishing it for my planned December release. After many hours and lost hair, I finally made it. The digital copy is now on Amazon, and I will have the paperbacks available shortly.

The series will continue and I hope to get number four out in the fall/winter of 2024. I will also be expanding my horizons into other genres. Don’t be surprised to see some kind of horror/thriller in the future, and maybe some strange but humorous short stories.

I hope you all enjoy The Devil You Know, and thank you for supporting an independent author.

(Click the picture to find it on Amazon)

Pushing through

December 5, 2023

Pushing through

Can you believe the end of the year is upon us? How many think back when we were kids and adults warned us that time slips away faster the older you get? It is one of the many tidbits I wish I would have taken seriously.

Book three of The Devil Series is still in process, and I confess I am behind schedule. Delays happen and there is not much we can do about it. I had originally planned a December release, but it may be pushed to January. Winter is always harder to be productive for me, but I will push through and get it done.

To everyone who supports my writing, I wish you all Happy Holidays and hope the new year brings you fresh new stories and happy endings.

Philosophical Fall

October 21, 2023

Philosphical Fall

Our backyard has a maple tree whose leaves change to a vibrant yellow in the fall before they release their hold and swirl in the breeze, joining their siblings on the ground. I’ve watched that tree grow from a cute little sapling into a tall stretch of branches with a crazy amount of leaves. We have other maple trees skirting the backyard. Their leaves are also in stages of showing the world their true colors before they give the final breath and let go. Our lawn becomes a kaleidoscopic mural of nature’s swan song.

Maple leaves are an excellent example of death and rebirth. In less than a year, they grow from a bud to the bright green of youth and on to full of vibrant colors. Eventually, they release their hold on life and decompose, feeding the soil for future generations. It’s not always pretty, it’s not always ugly, it’s nature — the changing of the seasons.

We are born. We learn. We live. We discover our true colors. Eventually, we die. Some get blown off their life force early. Some will be the last to hang on. In the end, we decompose into fertilizer.

In my neck of the woods, snow will arrive and toss a white blanket over the colors, bleaching the landscape. I personally don’t care for the cold. My husband will marvel that my toes aren’t blue based on their temperature. Not to mention extended headaches from the brain injury. Someday, we will move to a gentler climate. Until then, I hibernate further into hermit mode until the snow melts off and nature awakens as it pushes through another cycle.

The leaves remind me that their lifetime is short, but most still manage to burst with colors before the end. We can only hope to do the same.

Reviews

September 18, 2023

Reviews

Do you know what many writers dislike the most beyond editing? Marketing.

Do you know what many writers like the most beyond big sales? Reviews.

Reviews are those pesky things that many a reader skip. It’s good enough that they borrowed or purchased the book, right? Yes, it’s wonderful and deeply appreciated. But for independent authors, reviews help others find their books in the confusing world of algorithms. Reviews are advertising, announcing to potential readers that others enjoyed the book and perhaps you will, too.

The writing world is vast and full, and if you don’t have a large budget for marketing, you are scrounging for scraps at the bottom. This has created a new thing of paying for reviews. Personally, I could never do that as it feels like cheating. I don’t know how many writers do this, I only know it’s a thing now in this dog-eat-dog world.

I have friends and family who gladly inform me they enjoy my books, which I appreciate. But there is something about hearing your story entertained a stranger that brings a different excitement. We writers tend to be fickle, bouncing between loving and hating our work. Questioning daily if we are only fooling ourselves into thinking we have any talent at all, to bouncing in our chairs at creating a fantastic scene. Just ask my husband.

The point of my ramblings is that if you know an author is self-published/independent when you read their book, do them a favor and leave a few words or at least a few stars. You have no idea how much that minute you took to do that will perk up their day.

The reviews in the picture are a few that made my day when I saw them. It gave me hope and encouragement to keep up the work. Sometimes, that is all anyone needs to put a smile on their face.

Saying Goodbye

September 7, 2023

Goodbye Jimmy

I joined the world in mourning a loss recently. I’ve always held a love for palm trees and beaches, even as a child. It wasn’t a surprise to anyone when I finally discovered his music and fell in love with it. Throughout our travels, when my husband and I are near a Margaritaville, we stop to buy something, whether it be a t-shirt, hat, or only a magnet. I watch past concerts on Margaritaville TV or listen to the albums when I need a lift or a dose of summer in the dredges of winter. A dozen or so songs are always on my mixed playlists.

While working on my book, I became distracted by a rhythmic verse. Poetry is not my forte, but I don’t think he would mind. RIP Jimmy

Margaritaville is on my mind
As the world says its final goodbye
The man, the myth, the legend
Now lazing amid palm trees in heaven

A songwriter, sailor, and surfer
From books to biplanes to Broadway
His visions crossed the oceans
And invited all to the party

Jimmy Buffett has left the building
The Parrotheads are in mourning
A margarita raised
A toast made
To a man who could never be forgotten

It’s Here!

August 18, 2023

Book two is now available!!

The Devil Went Down to Georgia, book two in The Devil Series, is now available in Paperback and EPUB at Melissa’s Bookstore and more.

All sales through my website are helping an independent author. I not only write the stories, but also design the covers and any marketing.

Thank you for your support.

*Note: the epub will move to Amazon on August 28th.

Book signings

August 8, 2023

Scheduled Book Signings

August 18th – Boyne City, MI

You can find me at Inspired Living, located downtown on Water Street, selling my books during Stroll the Streets, which starts at 6 pm.

September 9th – Indian River, MI

I will be at the Indian River Area Library from 11 am – 1 pm, located downtown on South Straits Hwy.

Stop in to say hello and help support an independent author. There will be a chance for giveaways at each event with book purchases.

I look forward to seeing you and appreciate all the support.

The ebook for The Devil Went Down to Georgia will be available only in Melissa’s Bookstore from August 18th – 28th. It will be available on Amazon after.

The Devil Went Down to Georgia

July 24, 2023

The Devil Went Down to Georgia

Book Two of The Devil Series

Book two is in the final stages before release. It will be available on my website for purchase on August 18^th, in print and EPUB. I appreciate all purchases through my website as you support an indie author.

After August 28th, the ebook will move to Amazon and Kindle Unlimited, but the print version will remain available on my site.

This continues the story from book one, The Devil is in the Details, following Leila and her friends as they recover, discover, and find more adventures. It’s a fun ride full of chuckles and action as the group of friends strengthens their bond while dealing with the bad guys—a fun mix sprinkled with chic-lit, urban fantasy and action/adventure.

Book one should be read first. You can purchase the print copy from my website under Melissa’s Bookstore and More. It is also available at Amazon and Kindle Unlimited.

I appreciate your support.